"Mom I don’t feel well I cant go to school"
accidentally stuttering while saying your snarky comeback
how to tell i am comfortable talking to you:
- i say things that make zero sense
- i say the random things that come to mind
- i act like a complete idiot when talking to you
- i use dumb emoticons
Allergies are weird as heck. You can snap a humans leg in half and they can recover but if you eat this peanut u dead
the elegance of this joke is really, really up my alley.
"you can’t be just friends with people of the gender you’re attracted to"
myth actually true. i, as a bisexual, can confirm that i have no friends.
pansexuals spend their lives in solitude, with only rocks for company
im literally always looking at my reflection not because im conceited but because i just think it feels kind strange to have a physical form and im constantly trying to process who and what i am
You know sweatpants?
In Australia we call them trakky-dacks.
im starting to think you aussies are just fucking with us
we actually aren’t and that’s the horrendous part.
the better my hair looks the better i function in school